You may not flow through them in order. The length of each stage will vary from relationship to relationship. Understanding each stage can be super helpful, especially when navigating tricky times. It’s nice to know what you are experiencing is normal.
Here are the five stages of a relationship
Attraction & Romance
Doubt & Denial
Crossroads & Decision Time
Commitment & Go Deep
Bonding & Deep Love
Let’s take a closer look at each stage in more detail.
Attraction & Romance
In the initial stage of attraction, you can’t get enough of each other. You always send messages to each other, go on dates and think about one another constantly. Your partner can’t do anything wrong, and you are infatuated with them. Your brain produces high levels of dopamine and oxytocin, making you excited, giddy and euphoric.
It doesn’t get much better than this. You are walking on air and feel you have met your perfect match. Be cautious during this stage; you may risk making a quick decision only to find out things are not quite what they seem after the initial flush of excitement disappears.
2. Doubt & Denial
The rose-tinted glasses come off slightly. The dopamine in your body wears off. You start to notice things you’ve not seen before. Maybe your other half isn’t quite as perfect as you initially thought. You notice differences in each other and start to question your choice. Are you really compatible?
You may fight or begin to pull away slightly as you explore your uncertainties. How you react and respond will give you great insight into the future. Use this time to strengthen your relationship through open communication and discussing your feelings with your partner.
You will have a stronger emotional connection if you progress beyond this stage. Out of adversity comes strength and a deeper bond. Equally, there is no shame in walking away at this point if it isn’t the right relationship for you both.
3. Crossroads & Decision Time
Some may experience this immediately after doubt and denial or because of other life-changing events. Either way, it is crunch time. Should you stay together or leave the relationship? Often, it is a difficult decision, especially when you have been together for a while, feel invested or have a family to consider.
It’s key to make your choice with a conscious and clear mind, which is easier said than done.
Decisions made out of fear often aren’t the right ones. Being emotionally involved can make this tricky. It’s vital to get help and support to look at things from different perspectives and see each other’s points of view.
It can be tempting to look for something new as this appears easier than sorting out what went wrong. This is a mistake for some as they take the same challenges and poor relationship patterns to the next romance.
4. Commit & Go Deep
Commitment from both partners is essential for a relationship to last. You must want to be in the relationship and be willing to put in extra effort when needed. When this happens, you can deepen your connection through vulnerability and being more open with each other.
In this stage, you’re more likely to share your concerns, fears, feelings and emotions. When you are open, your partner is more likely to as well. This isn’t easy for most of us, but professional support and a judgment-free space make it easier. Don’t be afraid to seek support from a relationship coach.
5. Bonding & Deep Love
In this last stage, you are experiencing deep love. You have learnt more about each and yourself. You are well-practised in open communication. You respect each other and enjoy spending time together and independently. You have pure comfort in your relationship without taking each other for granted.
You will continue to deepen your love for each other, experiencing joy and passion. You are compassionate towards each other and seek to make the other person happy without losing yourself. You realise the tough times have all been worth it as they allowed you to understand each other and grow as a couple and individually.
Final Thoughts
Relationships can be a challenge at times. You may experience various emotions and sometimes wonder what it’s all for. But, outside the difficult times come pure joy and happiness. We are designed for connection and to experience those moments with each other.
Please share this with someone you think needs to hear this. If you need help, get in touch at inform coaching. I offer support with all kinds of relationship dilemmas, there is a wealth of experience available for you, you don’t need to go it alone.
You can follow me on Instagram or Facebook for tips and inspiration. I wish you the best of luck finding happiness and love, life is to short not to shine brightly.
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